My Job Is To Kill One Of You!!!

August, 1986.

The humidity was stifling in the cattle car, the trucks they shove 68 people in designed for 21. We had our duffel bag strapped on our backs and our civilian bag in our right hands. In our left hands we had our newly issued ID cards. Stangely, no one said anything; each of us left to our own thoughts and fears. Me, I was terrified.

We had spent the last week or so at the Reception Station, United States Army Training Center, Fort Dix, New Jersey. There we received our uniforms, our haircuts and learned very rudimentary training in Drill and Ceremony (left face, right face, etc); we would learn this and more, as nauseum, over the course of the next 9 weeks.

Finally, after what seemed forever, the cattle cars stopped. the doors opened, and a voice booms from outside the truck, "You have exactly 10 seconds to get off the truck, and 7 of them are gone!!! MOVEMOVEMOVE!!! Throw your bags on the ground and get in the Front Leaning Rest Position!!"

So, we start shuffling out of the car and throwing our bags into a huge pile. I finally get out of the car, and do the same. As everyone else had just gone into the Front Leaning Rest right by the truck, I had to run a little bit to find a place to drop.

The Front Leaning Rest Position is the position a soldier takes when beginning to perform Push-Ups. Place your hands where they are comfortable for you. Your feet may be together or up to 12 inches apart. When viewed from the side, your body should form a generally straight line from your shoulders to your ankles.

We stayed in this position for a couple of minutes, until everybody was off the bus and ready to begin our smoke session. Finally, we hear a voice say, "ONE!" We lower our bodies to where our upper arms are parallel with the ground, and hold it. Almost immediately we hear, "TWO!" and we bring our bodies up to the starting position. On "Three!" we went down again, but immediately came up on our own, yelling a thunderous, "One!" That is known as the 4-Count Push-Up. It takes about 2.5 seconds to complete 1 full exercise, because it is an immediate 1-2-3-1 movement.

We started performing these as the Drill Sergeants walked around this gaggle of new soldiers, telling most of us to straighten our bodies.

1-2-3-14, 1-2-3-15. Then a break, and we would stop, with our arms beginning to jiggle, muslces spasming. Then, the Drill Sergeant would bellow, in his deep, menacing voice, "Exercise! One! Two! Three"

"15," we are screaming, as though our voices will somehow mask our tired arms and bodies.

I am beginning to think to myself, "Dude, what the hell have you done?"

I look around, and we are all looking like fish out of water. Most of us have our asses in the air, so that our bodies look like an inverted "V". Sweat is pouring off my body, and we are all just trying to do one of the two push-ups as the drill sergeant calls out like a metronome, "1-2-3"

"Forty", we all yell.

Finally, we hear the Drill Sergeant say, "Position of Attention, MOVE!"

With that, we bring our feet up, and we then move our bodies up and stand at attention. At this point we see our Drill Sergeant. He is about 5 feet, 7 inches of Pure American Whoop Ass. His uniform is impeccably starched. His Jump Boots gleam. His muscles bulged out from the sleeves of his uniform jacket. We cannot see his eyes, as they are masked by the Ray Ban Wayfarers on his face.I look at him and think that this man is going to kill me.

He gets us into a marching formation and marches us over to the company area. We are put in with the rest of the company and after put at the position of At Ease (feet 18 inches apart, hands behind at the small of the back - right over the left - and the body can slack and relax).

At the head of the company stands a taller guy, with a mustache. He is also wearing the "Brown Round" campaign hat that identifies all Drill Sergeants in the United States Army. He talks in a mild mannered voice, as if he is calming the sheep before the slaughter.

"Welcome to Bravo Company, 3rd Battalion, 5th Training Brigade. My name is Senior Drill Sergeant Calhoun. On behalf of the rest of the training staff, and our company commander, Captain Cross, welcome to the United States Army. Today starts the first day of your Basic Combat Training, where we will make you into United States soldiers.

"But first, we know that it is hot, and you must be tired. so we have some milk and donuts inside the company area, and we would like any one of you that wants to can come inside and have some cold milk and donuts with us."


I was completely confused. Here was this Drill Sergeant,asking me if I wanted some milk and donuts? It sounded so good. I was hot, and could definitely use a donut, but ther was no way on thisplanet Earth that I was going to go and eat with them. I tired to look around, and the Drill Sergeants are smiliing, offering us to come inside, beckoning with their arms, waving for us to come in.

No F***ing Way. I did not fall off the Yam Wagon yesterday. I told myself that it had to be some kind of trick, and I was not going to fall for it.

However, for someone, the temptation was too much. He raised his hand, and they welcomed him into the company area. They slapped him on the back and acted as if he was their long lost brother; smiles, and everything. Poor Bastard.

I swear, as God Almighty as my witness, I never saw him again.

After the ruse was over, Drill Sergeant Calhoun gave control of the company to the platoon sergeants. I had the fortune to have the meanest, baddest Drill Sergeant in the company. His name, Drill Sergeant Simpson. This was the same guy who was giving us the push ups earlier. I could not believe my luck. I wanted to die. He took us inside the company area where we put our duffel bags in our room. He took our civilian bags and put them in a huge closet, and locked it. We would not get them back until graduation (we actually raided the closet a few days before, and when the drill sergeant cadre found out, they smoked us (push up sessions from HELL) for days, but I digress).

After getting our rooms, we went back outside, and went to chow (dinner for you civvies). I cannot remember what it was, but I ate springly. I was not feeling well, because I knew my death was imminent.

After chow the company divided up into the platoons, where the Drill Sergeants introduced themselves. Drill Sergeant Simpson introduced himself. He was an infantryman, with extensive training in Central America and Korea.

After telling us about him and what he had done, he said something that chilled me down to the very core of my being. His last statement was, "My main mission during this training cycle is to kill one of you motherf*****s." The way he said it, I was convinced, beyoind a shadow of a doubt, that I Would Be The One. To Die.

The other DS, Drill Sergeant Eyman, then introduced himself. He too was an infantryman with tours in Europe and Korea. I was amazed at these two men, as they would be the ones who would mold me into a soldier.

But it didn't matter, as Drill Sergeant Simpson was Going To Kill Me.

I prayed hard that night, making sure I confessed all of my sins. I wanted my consicence to be clear. I never knew when Drill Sergeant Simpson would kill me, but I wanted to be ready by making my peace with The Lord..