My day in Roswell

As I was assigned to a unit in Texas, I had an opportunity to do a lot of flying in the Southwestern United States. As I had more experience than most of the other enlisted guys (I flew over 600 hours in Germany; stateside units had limited flight hours due to budget reatraints), I was made a trainer for the equipment we used. With that, I got to fly quite a bit for training the other guys

One of the days we were flying in southwest New Mexico, and things were going well. I was just showing one of the newbies the equipment, and we were about 45 minutes into the flight, when out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a flashing light. As I had plenty of hours in helicopters, I knew that any kind of flashing light was what we in Army Aviation called A Bad Thing. I knew that the Master Caution Light was blinking,and that a light that I had never seen lit before was lit. I was able to read it, from my vantage point.

It said: Low Rotor RPM.

I immediately hit the Crew Call button so I could listen in on the pilots' conversation. As usual, their voices were calm, and they were immediately going through the emergency procedures for engine failure by rote memory, and the co-pilot was backing him up by using the pilot manual.

After a few seconds, the pilot said, "Wait a sec. What do you hear?"

The co-pilot replied,"Nothing."

"Right," said the pilot. No change in engine or rotor pitch. So that means what?" (the pilot was also an instructor pilot, and he was used to acting in this manner).

He continued, "Bad RPM sensor. So, with a bad sensor, the manual says to Land as Soon as Practical. We are too far to RTB (Return to Base), so let's head up to Roswell and have a new sensor flown up to us."

Roswell, New Mexico. Home to Alientown USA... and they market it pretty well.

We landed at the airfield, and shut down. It just so happened that during this time of year that Operation Roving Sands was happening, and this year there happened to be more involved units than in previous exercises. Also this year the Air Force brought in some B-1 Bombers and some tankers to support them.

Being the son of a retired USAF Master Sergeant, I know a few things about how the Air Force guards its beloved bombers. At one point early in my daddy's career he was actually an Air Policeman, and guarded bombers and so he told me what the deal was at a very early age how things worked on an Air Force base.

Basically, if you are anywhere near US Air Force bombers without authorization, you can be shot. If you drive by USAF bases and can see the runway, there is always a barbed wire fence. Every certain distance on this fence is a sign that says something to the effect of "Stay the Hell Away!!" Thay say it in more subtle language,but you are supposed to get the hint. To make the point more effective, at the bottom of every sign is a phrase in red lettering, in all capital letters.

It says, "THE USE OF DEADLY FORCE IS AUTHORIZED"

Basically that means that they can shoot you. No ifs, ands or buts.

I tell you that because as we were walking into the airport operations building, the airport staff was acting upset.

It seems some reporter took it upon his Pulitzer Prize hopes that he would walk out to the area where the B-1 bombers and take pictures.Well, when the Air Force Policemen (they call them "Security Policemen" now) found out, they drove out there and not so politely took his camera away and threw him to the ground and pointed their weapons at him while they made sure that he was not a threat. Once they figured out he was a dumbass and not a terrorist, they put him in a Military Police car, and drive him back to the operations building. Before they let him go his film was confiscated.

And the airport staff told us this they were indignant that something like that could happen. Me, being the non-Politically Correct individual that I am, told her simply, "He's extremely lucky they didn't shoot his ass." They looked at me like deer caught in headlights.

I proceeded to tell them why, and when they understood, then they accepted that maybe going out there was one of the Dumber Things That Happened At Roswell That Day.

I digress.

Once inside Operations, we called our home base and had the new sensor sent out, then asked for a courtesy car so we could go into town and grab some lunch.

The car? A 1975 Ford LTD...wagon. We rode in style to the Roswell Pizza Hut in the pimp mobile... laughing the whole way. Driving through town we noticed that there were all kinds of places with "Alien" and "UFO" in them... totally working the angle in any way they can.

After lunch, we went back and waited for what seemed like forever. Eventually, a helicopter with a mechanic and the spare part arrived, and they installed it, then tested it to make sure that it was installed correctly. Finally, after everything was tested and written up according to regs, we flew back to our home base.

I never had a chance to go back there, but I definitley have a goal to go back and visit Roswell, and a lot more of the New Mexico countryside, as my father is from part of that area.

But those are stories for later.